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| Time: | Friday
June 10th 2005 @ 7:48pm |
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LIVE JOURNAL SUCKS ASSHOLES AND I QUIT!
lol getting AWFUL tired of it.
HIT ME UP ON MYSPACE, NIGGA!
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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
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| Time: | Wednesday
April 27th 2005 @ 10:19pm |
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totally thinking about quitting this lj thing. never get comments, so i guess no one reads it. but then i realized how much better i feel after i write (type) this stuff down.
okay, ive typed soo many differnet things and deletd them. nothing sounded right. i have alot of feelings to express. so here goes.. no more highliting and backspace.
joy asked me to go to the movies this weekend. i said yes, but that was before i realized that i'm pretty sure it was for me not to feel left out. but if i go, i WILL feel left out. i love joy. and i love anne. and i love charmayne. but i don't think i fit in with the three of them. not now, anyways, becuase things have like, changed. i feel as if i'm being left out of alot of things.i'm kinda scared to go to the gym, becuase i think joy and angie and charmayne will be there, and i'll feel weird becuase i wasn't invited. and you're probably reading this and thinking "wtf liz" but i mean, i'm weird okay. my emotions are weird. my feelings are weird. like, my feelings are running wild. im feeling unwanted by joy, because i comment on her stuff and she doesnt reply, or comment on mine, i say stuff to her and she doesn't respond much, if at all. she doesn't really look me in the eye. her voice sounds so annoyed when i talk to her. she doesn't call. so there's how i feel. maybe im blowing this way out of the water. or maybeim right, who knows. and then things rae differnt between me and anne, too. like, this one time, she wrote me a note, and i felt so special. i was like whoa! maybe we're getting closer? that would be so awesome. but i think (might be wrong, but i doubt it) that it was becuase anne didn't have joy. she had me. joy didn't have anne. she had me. well now joy has anne and anne has joy. so no one needs me. am i right? i wasnt going to say anything but i'm just so sick and tired of all of this. i mean, this isnt about one weekend joy wants to spend without me. its about the things that joy says to me and the way she says them. and it's the same with anne, too.
gosh! ughhhhh. things these days are so weird, it's unexplainable. i mean, i ask anne..."soo who'd you go with or who were you with" or soemthing and it's all "annge, or joy, or angie and joy" and i ask joy like "who were you with or who did you go with" and its all "angie and charmayne, or angie, or charmayne" and i'm like, okay well you used to invite me to things like that and i mean if your mad at me or want a break i'd kinda like to know before i brake my neck trying to get you to laugh at something i say or soemthing. its a loose-loose situation anyways. becuase not being invited makes me feel left out. but i KNOW, that if i was there, i'd feel left out, too. to sum it all up basically, i thought i was like, a part of "y'all" but i guess not. i give up trying. it's way too hard.
okay now i feel like SUCH a looser/freak/weirdo/etc. for saying all that but the sad thing is, i meant everyword. so i guess someone should know.
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Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
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im going to update. i really shouldn't, considering it is one-thirty-four in the morning. and i have the march of dimes walk at nine. ohswell.
things have been sooo weird recently. like the world has totally shifted. things taht usually happen didn't, and things that i didn't expect to happen did. hard to explain, but i guess you'd just have to know me. and even then it probably wouldn't be that much easier to understand. whatever.
uhh. had an assmebly. i got to go up to the microphone and ask the mayor a cool ass question about voting. wow. cool, right? ughh it was so boring. no offense mr holloway, but you SUCK at publicspeaking k?. well he's still a cool guy. me, tiffany, and angie made origami with our questions. it was jolly &&such.
i've been trying SOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard to loose weight. and i'm pretty sure i've gained. i can't really fit well into anything i have. i REALLY dont think its just me. its pretty bad. ohwell maybe one day i'll be so hungry that i'd turn into a cannibal and eat everyone. then i wouldn't have to worry about being fatter/uglier, than anyone else.
just got back from the mall with katelyn. saw stephanie in a cow apron, "advertising" moo-town. okay, well she asked us if we wanted to help, so we went back to the back and got some aprons. and then free ice cream. and then walked around the whole food court mooing. and then marrianne and mike and allanah joined in. then we went and kind of hung out with anne and her mexican in spencers. and then we went to mcraes. and tryed on a shitload of clothes. lol. it was fun. and then we went to the edgewater village thingy. and went to shoe staition, bebop, and books -a- 1000000. and then we sat on the curb and waited for my mom. we were looking at some pictures we took, and some strange man at a pay phone was like, "take my picture" and we were like why? and he said "i like getting my picture takin" so i did. and he was UGLY. well, he kept looking at us. ahh. i was scared. i thought we were going to get raped or something. ha, but who would rape me?
anywas. we lived. and here i am. i'm totally confused about some things. about how things are going with some people. but i don't suppose this is the place to talk about it.
i'm reading this book. and its CRAZy. its about this girl. and her dad died, of a heart attack. and she talks about how she kind of pushed all her emotions away, and pretended everything was okay really fast. wayy to fast. and she never gave herself time to mourn, becuase she felt guilty, she knew she needed to be strong for her mom.
wow, kind of strangly familiar, if you ask me.
but i mean, its all good now. well not good, but as good as its gonna get. but i mean, its kindof creepy. i weirds me out. but its a great book
i bought the first gossip girl, cant wait to get started.
okay i guess i should get some sleep.
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Saturday, April 16th, 2005
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| Time: | Saturday
April 16th 2005 @ 12:14am |
| Mood: |  sleepy. | | Music: | joys kick ass yoga dvd. |
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sooo just got back from the crawfish festival. im at joys house. it was alot of fun. EVERYONE was there. saw alot of people i hvaent seen inforever. i enjoyed myself.
not too much has been going on. just wanted to update sinced its been way too long. uhh. i made show choir! =) howww coolness is that?. cool. i know.
had an honor roll assembly today. nothing special, i know.
been going to the gym alot. HOPEFULLY it will pay off. soooon. joys doing yoga. right now, beside me. lol. she is coolness.
well, i guess there is not too mcuh to say.
i'll update more later. promise
<2+1
- e
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just got done watching this movie. it was crazy. there are no words whatsoever to describe how...wow, it was. it had such an impact on me. i cried through the whole thing, and i mean, its not one of those tear-jerker kind of movies. it just, really had me thinking, about how sick of everything i am. sick of the bull shit drama, sick of stupid bitches, sick of how everyone takes their lives and makes it into something its not supposed to be. idunno its soo fucking hard to explain. im just so angry.
the movie had a happy ending, and i mean, it was so realistic except for that. the end. the happy ending. wtf it seems like there ARE no happy endings. all i do all day is bitch and bitch and listen to bitching and talk shit and act fake, and take in other ppls fakeness. OMGOD this really got me thinking. i mean, life is so hard. i get SOOOOO stressed pretty often. i feel like God has put like, way too much on plate, thinking i could handle it or something? i mean, sometimes i get so sick of it i want to die. literally. and i mean, how someone could be so cruel, and go out of their way to make other people feel shit is as of this point, beyond me. ALL OF US already have enough to deal with. WTF is our problem, i mean, we talk so much shit about ppl, TO ppl, and do we realize that it could drive them to the point of their wanting to kill themselves? and do some of us really care? i mean, she fucking overdosed on sleeping pills, and almost DIED, and they fucking made FUN OF HER FOR IT. THEY TORTURED HER ABOUT IT. wtf. life is precious. NO ONE deserves to die. especially someone innocent. every 14, 15, 16, etc. year old girl NEEDS to see this fucking movie.
im so fucking depressed right now. i dont know why. obviously the movie had something to do with it. but it shouldn't. i mean that by, like, it was so amazing, its not supposed to make you sad. but maybe its becasue there are some things in my life im not doing right, or handling right. i KNOW there are DEFINETLY things i need to fix about myself. but thats not it, i just know it, theres wayy more than that. and i feel really insecure, too. i guess more than anything im confused.
everyday in class, BA is all "i hate you liz, i wish you'd die" and he's kidding of course, i mean, i sure hope. but think about it, what if i died, and you were BA...wouldnt you feel terrible. especially if i took my own life. even if you didnt like me.
i wonder what im gonna put on my mood thingy. hah, trying to lighten the moment i guess.
one day, someone we know is gonna drive someone else we know over the edge. alot of people are becoming so shitty, and its going to escalate if it doesnt stop. i know id be devestaed if someone i knew killed themselves, not only becuase their life is over, and they'd be missed, but becuase i probalby could have done something to stop it. really, i think everyone could help. im serious about this, i really need to fix myself. no more fakeness, or shittalking. im gonna try, becuase NO body deserves taht.
okay well now i really dont know what else to say. but i really need to go and sleep and think and stuff.
im out.
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| Time: | Sunday
April 3rd 2005 @ 1:00am |
| Mood: |  disappointed. | | Music: | Daphne Loves Derbie -- Hopeless Love. |
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so, just got back from the grand not to long ago, and eat at the buffet with my mom and her friendand such. it was really, neato. lots went down. so i'll start from the beginning
so we went and saw the line. it was very very long, so i waited and waited while my mom sat somewher, cause her legs hurt real bad. and then she comes back to see where i was inline and she was like OMYGAH how can ppl gamble, its soo horrible, such and such and such. so then. she goes back to sit. comes back about 10 minutes later. "ugh, i just lost 5 dollars. stupid slots" gosh. she's such a hypocrite. it cracked me up though. lol
okay then it turns out, her friend and family shows up, and they have a comp! yay! no more waitng. so we eat. i had strawberry frozen yougurt for dessert. it ws sooo pretty. it was the prettiest color pink. but it was good too. i cant get over how much i liked that strawberry frozen yogurt. okay. well i got it in my hair. so i went to the batrhoom to wash it all out.
well my moms friend has two sons. one in tenth grade and one in seventh. their both pretty cool and realy nice. kinda fun. so, anyways...their asian. of course. and of course being asian, they had to go to the arcade. so we went to the arcade while my mom and thier parents gambled. yes, MY MOM. anwyas, i was kinda walking around, chilling. and i realized that this was the "place" for the asians. i dont think ive every seen so mnay asain ppl that i recognized in one place except for school. it was CRAZY. well my moms friends kids knew some of they vietnames gansturrrrrs. and they talked, yeah, so i guess i had nothing to do, wo i watched ddr. lol. and i met this vietnamse girl from laurel. she was coolness. and she asked me if i wanted to play ddr with her cause she didnt wanna do it alone. and i was all "i suck" and she was all "ha, so do i" so i agreed. and i must say, i am not half bad on that thing! i think its the asain in me. well, plus, im pretty coordinated. well she didnt suck either. so it was fun. and there was this white guy there. and he was doing it. and he was cool and REALLY good. i swear he must be asian. but no. he's white. well we talked. and he was super cute =) and me and him talked and me and that girl talked and us three talked. it was f-u fun. and iono, me and him, really clicked. he had a nice smile, and he was soo incredibly sweet. and you're probably reading this and isa ll like, awwwww how sweet, but when you get to the end, your gonna be like, liz, you idiot. okay, so onward and stuff, my mom came, and was like, im tired, and ready...so i leave. i leave without getting his name/location/or any contacts whatsoever. and he has not mine, either. im sooo upset with myself. he was so, cute. ughhhhhhhhhhhh. so, i feel kinda emo, and i dont think i'll be able to sleep, all because of some guy i dont even know. you know those surveys that are all, "do you belive in love at first site" well, i would answer "when it happens to me, i'll belive". this is gonna sound so lame, dont shoot me... maayybe...i belive now? ugh, i mean, i got the butterflies and everything!
well besides that. tonight rocked hard. maybe i'll even get some sleep. doubt it.
-later
--love
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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| Time: | Saturday
April 2nd 2005 @ 11:03am |
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hello, hello...its saturday =( one day closer to monday. wich sucks my ass. i have been having a pretty okay break, just kinda been chilling. sure, id be happy to go into detail about it!
on friday and saturday i did all kinds of stuff for my cousins wedding. ahhH it was soooo beautiful, and sooo nice, and she's soooooo pretty and her husband is reaallllyy good looking. they made me so jealous, i just wanted to cry =( but maybe one day......i asked katelyn to be one of my bride's maids, and she said yes. lol
monday night, katelyn stayed...adn we went to grand casino gulfport to eat crablegs like old times. they had this big ice sculpture that was kinda far out. it said happy easter on it, now that i think about it...it was kinda weird. but its all good. the food was yummy., then she had to go home the next day after we DIDNT get to go to the beach =( but it was still a good time.
wed. night, amber stayed with me. went to ruby tuesdays and then came home and watched america's sweetharts...tats a good movie. and then on thursday she had to go get her physical so i chilled here and cleaned, and then she came back! and we chilled ouuuut. it was cool, and then went to the mall and chilled with anne, and then came back and listend to the rain. it was sooooothing.
i got in a big fight with my mom. but it htink it over now. i hope so. i painted my nails, they are pink, i got a bad bad bad bad paper cut on my finger, so im wearing a bandaid. i got my hair re-highlited. i got a new shirt.
okay, well im out
later
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| Time: | Monday
March 28th 2005 @ 11:30pm |
| Music: | TBS--There's No I in Team. |
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so, its offically spring break, thats nice, isn't it...i feel so relieved of all stress...i was soo stressed out last night becuase i had like, millions of things to do, and like, a million tests today, and its over and their over, and i can catch a breather. things have been so weird lately, not necissarily bad...but wierd. like, i know thats really vague. but for the last few months, i've felt that things have been changing. now i feel like, their officially cahnged, or something
1. me and joy have gotten so extrelemy close. its so great, like, you and i relate sooo much. i can talk to you about anything...and i MEAN that. i mean, people say that about their really close friends, and they kinda don't take the time to think about what it means, they just say it cuase it sounds good. yeah, sure it sounds great...but what it means is even better =) i love you so much and i dont know what im gonna do without you, when/if that time comes...ugh i cant believe your levaing me this break for MIAMI. omg, miami, over me? gosh...freaking idiot <3
2. this is for the lovely katelyn howard..i know things are different, and if wanna ask me why, go ahead, but i have no answer =/ i just want you to know that i still love you TONS. you and me are alot alike, personality wise......and when you get too ppl like us together, haha the possiblities are endless...sorry that was lame =) but you know what i mean, cant wait till we get together this break, and i want you to know that i REALLY want to fix this "difference". its weird without you, chick. ha..hell, its weird WITH you too, but tahts the good kind of wierd, you know that!
3. i dont know if ya'll have noticed, but im starting to dress up more for school. i dont even know why. i wake up in the monrings and im like "i want to put on something nice". i mean, i'm not trying to impress anyone, i have no one to impress at the moment. but im so stressed out about the way i look, latley, i'm freaking out about my acne *ugh, gross*. and im so into this loosing weight thing. i wanna loose weight soo bad. and i mean, if you asked me why, i couldnt tell you. i guess im getting worried, cause all i do now is eat eat eat eateat eat and eat. ha, i told joy this and we thought it was pretty funny, so i'll sahre it with ya'll......i wake up in the mornings, and am excited about breakfast. then i go to first....and i just sit there and think about how dull the day is gonna be, and how i dont wanna be at school. then in second, i cant wait till A.R, so i can eat, in A.R. i eat, adn when im done, i cant wait till 3rd to eat more, so in 3rd, i eat and then cant wait to eat 4th for lunch, by this time, my packed lunch is gone. so at lunch, i either mooch food off other ppl or buy a lunch. then in 5th i think about how i'm SOOO looking forward to choir *sarcasm* =? then in sixth, i think about going home so i can eat...then seventh im like, DYING to get home, and pop something in the microwave...then i get home and stuff myself. then my mom calls and asks if im hungry, and i dont want her to know i ate so much, so i tell her yes, and we go out to dinner, and i eat it. all of it. this is everyday ppl. isn't that abnormal....maybe i have diabetes or soemthing, if i dont watch out, i WILL get diabetes... =( so i'm glad me and joy started this gym things, i feel healtheir, cause we give ourselves a tough workout, its nice =)
and there are more, but i feel like those are the main ones. i dont know if its just me, but i feel like maybe im starting to grow up (ha, except for the food thing, thats kind of immautre)...who knows. i cant really tell yet, but things will clear up, they always doo.
okay, well i'm outtie, studmuffins
lator gators =))
(this is in my xanga, too...just incase you wanted to know that)
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Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
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| Time: | Tuesday
March 22nd 2005 @ 10:12pm |
| Mood: |  aggravated. |
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ughh life is so dull dull dull!!!
well i can update you all about Atlanta, that was a while back ago, so theres not much all i can say...i kinda forgot...um...it was fun, i got some shoes, and a cute watch...and i had a jolly good time.
i was all in the mood to type and such, but i have a bandaid on my finger, and its really hard, so i lost the mood =( sorry guys, i was gonna post pictures and EVERYTHING!...tomorrow...promise
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Saturday, March 12th, 2005
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Thursday, March 10th, 2005
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| Time: | Thursday
March 10th 2005 @ 12:30pm |
| Mood: |  sick. |
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hello, hello...long time no update! and goodness knows thats not good!
well first off, my aunt is doing pretty well! maybe, she'll have like, a full recovery! omg! SCORE! well, i went to see her the other day, and she looked alot better, there was color in her face, and she was talking. and she said, wow i thought i was a goner...like, she knew she almost died, i wonder waht the felt like, its really sad...if you think about it. but hopefully she wont have to experience that again for a while.
my kite flew, in geometry...it was soo much fun flying them. i think it was worth the 3 pain in the ass hours it took to make the damn thing... i got a 105 =).
i've been feeling pretty good, mentally, these days...on the other hand, im pretty sick...UGH! its soo shitty...but its okay, beucase i get to stay home and be sick buddies with annie =) for an explination, theres a very interesting conversation between the two of us on her lj, take a looksie =)
i've been really stressed about school lately...my grades arnet TOO bad, but i mean, ive had A's and B's both terms this year, and i'll get it again. i know, i know, "thats great elizabeth!" but to be honest, it upsets me...my first term of ninth grade was the first time i ever had a b average on my report card. well, w/e..i guess im used to it now, its kinda sad how i lowered my standards, though. and like, i still dont know where i wanna go to college, what im taking in highschool, and what i want to be exactly. and i wanna take my act's soon. i've narrowed down my law career to 5 fields....
Corporate/Commercial Law. This is the biggest field of practice. Corporate law involves organizing businesses, mostly contracts, liability, or intellectual property.
Intellectual Property Law is the law of copyrights, trademarks, and patents. It is a budding area of law what with the internet, and with the increased use of computers and computer software.
Constitutional Law today involves mainly questions concerning individual rights violations under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but may also involve the division of powers between the federal government and the provincial governments. A constitutional lawyer may also work with the government to ensure that laws that are drafted meet the requirements of the Charter.
Civil Litigates deal mostly with claims involving wrongdoing: tort law, and contracts.
International Law could mean working with multinational corporations, or working on International issues such as human rights, or with the UN. Many lawyers also become general practitioners, whereby they do a variety of tasks for individual, smaller clients: such as drawing up real estate deals, contracts, as well as family law things.
sounds like some good stuff, doesnt it.
well lets see, moving on to more important things...last weekend, had a cool-ass movie night with amber don joy angie and geoff....one movie was watched but thats okay...its O-K....cuase good times were had.
this weekend, angie is staying becuase her cool-o mom is in houston and i think me and her and joy and anne are gonna have a nice outing at FUN TIME USA! yeah! the mall is tired and old, you know? on saturday my mommy and i are going to HOT LANATA. come on and raise up =) lol, hopefully i'll be feeling better. oH! and on tuesday, i gave my self a haircut =) hells yeah
well im bored, so if you wanna look at some cool pictures im putting them behind this
( Cool LJ Cut )
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Monday, February 28th, 2005
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Okay, it all started when i was born. well i was born, and i had a mommy and a daddy. my moms korean so i was never to close to her. we didnt communicate well when i was younger..and of course i was alot less close to her family. come to think of it, i dont even know how many brothers and sisters she has. her parents died before i was born. well, my daddy has a LARGE extended family, his parents also died before i was born but i had enough of his family to cover for it, a brother and two sisters. his brother is in vietnam, a sister in phoenix, and a sister here. Her name is Margie. She was born Margaret Barrett, and then married a very rich, prominent southern man. a Guice. Honorable Daniel D. Guice Sr. Together they had a daughter and two sons. the two sons are both married...one with three kids, and one with two (one of which is married). the daughter has a son and daughter, the daughter is engaged, and the son has a four year old daughter. Uncle Danny has a large family, but only his sister Miriam lives close by. Every Sunday, all of these people got together for lunch after chruch, almost all of them go to the same church. everyonce in a while, my mom and dad and i would join the family. we played card games, watched a heck of alot of football, bet on the games, played board games, cooked alot, and cleaned alot. their house is a dream....right on the bay...a dock and everything. it seemed as if it was straight out of a story book. perfect.
my mother and i fought alot.. she was very picky, very asian. for lack of better words, she was mean. but she cared about us. alot. actions speak louder than words, but sometimes i wonder about that cause my mother speaks VERY loud words. well she did everything she could to make me and my dad happy...she loved us...alot. she worked 9-7, came home, and worked some more. she wasnt a very big part of my life. my dad was my WHOLE life, he taught me everything he knew. he was a teacher. he taught some english at OceanSprings High and government, spanish, and french at Biloxi High. he was so smart. he was funny, boy did that man have himself a sense of humor. he picked me up from catholic school everyday, took me on errands, taught me poker, and gin rummy, battle ship, monopoly, etc. he loved games. heloved game shows. we always watched jepardoy together. he almost always knew all the answers. he was sensitve. he cried when i did something cute. i NEVER heard that man yell. he alwyas had a smile on his face. he was easily touched. he stood between my mom and me when she would scream at me for no reason, and defend me. he would tell her to leave me alone and cool off. he was such a life savor.
Aunt Margie is my Maw-Maw. Always there for me. FOREVER spoiling me. always worrying about me. she's such a doll, so gorgeous, and intellingent, loving, gentle...everything a woman should be.
My dad was a sick man. He had rheumatic fever (a heart disease) from his birth until he was eight. He had a weak heart. He had high blood pressure, arthritus, Diabetes, and soriosis (sp) taht didnt bother me though, never thought twice about it...i mean how sick could such a great guy be?
November 13, 2001. the worst day of my life. The only good thing about it is that i know my dad is in a better place, no more suffering, and a relationship developed between me and mother. She's it. my everything...besides Aunt Margie and other family and friends, of course. I lvoe her... with everything that i have.
About 4-5 months ago, my dear sweet Aunt Margie was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was the healthy one. No diseases, no frequent sicknesses. So this was a shock, but she kept on her medication, and started low doses of chemo, and didnt even loose her gorgeous gray hair. things seemed to be going good.
I just got home from the Gulfpor Memorial Cardiac ICU. Sick, drugged up patients, computers, wheelchairs, IV's, weird looking machines, moniters, needles, tubes, blood, and my Aunt. The gorgeous, bubbly Aunt Margie, the only person that i look at, and i see my dad, his closest friend, and relative, my "Maw-Maw". She was so small, and dellusional, and the oxygen, and the heart monitors, and the four thousand IVs, and the disgusting hospital food. She doesnt belong.
she's probably not going to make it to Friday, says doctors.
its like the same exact nightmare all over again...i think this is the second time i've been in such a situation in a Cardiac ICU.
w/e, the world sucks.
lifes not fair
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Thursday, February 24th, 2005
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well today was a little better than normal =) i felt pretty okay casue i was all dressed up pretty and i got lots of compliments, that alwyas makes a girl feel nice. okay well we had a wonderful presentation about black history month today. i know im not speaking this so its kinda hard to hear the sarcasm *i can spell that, too joy* in my voice, but believe me, its there. there was this girl behind me, and she was like, "see what we had to go through" and like i was fucking pissed about that...and i almost turned around and said..."uhh...you didnt" but someone did it for me...lol and like, the only reason i would have said something is becuase she was short, small, and in the eigth grade...you get the idea...not too much intimidation going on. but that attitude pisses me off. i got tingles when latonya sang amazing grace. i thought she was REALLY good...and jasmine, omg jasmine was soo aweosme...and then shaneka was good too. she has a really pretty voice but i dont really care for the up-down thing that she, and alot of other black singers do. but yeah, ALMOST everyone did really well.
then we had third, and i had to play with soil and waste and "raw sewage" eww it was soo gross....whoever told me the module was fun ahss issues. in choir, we practiced really really hard...agian with the sarcasm thing...and like, we suck really bad...i hope maybe when we cometogether...it will sound better...i hope alot...becuase US being the ones to brake the winning streak would REALLY upset me.
then i went to junior leadership. omg it was REALLY interesting...we talked about prejudice and discrimination and such. how appropriatly fitting. well i didnt know that there was a differnce betwwen the two. did you know that predjudice is just the thought while discrimintation is the ACT. i didnot know that, well we watched a video and then went to a synagauge. and then to a greek orthodox church. omg...it was, wow..i learned so many things. and then i got upset acouple of times because i heard people complain aobut "this is soo stupid, why do we have to know this ugh this is so boring, omg that is so weird who would do that" and i mean, we just heard an hour before about there being so many other kinds of people out there and we have to be tolerant and open. i wish i could send them to Austria, and Greece, or China...and maybe the would get weird looks and people would think they were weird becuase they put stuff in their hair and it made it an ugly blonde color. i mean, really...comeon....are they that dumb. or ignorant. hmmm. okay well on to another subject...
dance was fun...did some ab work out excerices junk. yay
alright im soo tired im out....
love
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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
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sorry for the long time no update, ive just been recently infatuated with my xanga becuase i've recently figured out how to make my own layouts..yes..im good like that now. well not much has been going on. my mom jsut got back from los angeles, and i stayed with joy, which was alot of fun, her p-units are nice, and ditto for her g-units. and i enjoyed taco bell for lunch everyday...that was the shit, and i enjoyed getting much closer to her in only like, 3 days...that was better shit....and i enjoyed seeing armand...thats cool shit, but not as cool...., duh...
recently, i feel like ive been SO out of it....im feeling sick still which worries me...ive felt like this since we came back from new york...and i really dont wanna get it "looked into" bcease i really hate doctors. ugh. well maybe i'll have to. anyways, today joy came over and chilled for a little while, and then i went to chruch and we talked about sex. it think maybe saturday i might go to the women's resource center and volunteer. i feel so distant from chruch, and such. i mean, ihavent been doing more wrong, or naything...i just go to chruch and i dont pay attnetion, its starting to be like, a task...like, school or soemthing. and that is pretty shitty of me. but its been like taht with people, too...i feel so distant from people lately. joy and i had a LONG ass talk on monday night, im talking, a 3 hour talk. and it was nice. very enjoyable. i love things like that and i lvoe that i have friends that wiill sit there and let me say all kinds of shit for hours even though their dying for sleep...yeah...it feels good. okay well i mean, i feel so weird lately, not really...down and depressed, but out of the swing of things, and it kinda sucks....
i havent been happy lately. i always come to school with a smile on my face and ready-to-use smartass remarks in my head, but the past couple days, i dont really feel like talking, and i kinda stare out into space more than normal, and people ask me..."whats wrong". nothings wrong.
im okay...im okay now you really need to listen to me...becuase im telling you the truth, i mean this, im okay..trust me....
anways, ....yeah...well nothings wrong..im alright, good terms with people..good terms with mommy...but, i dunno...i really dont know what it is. maybe i'll get over it soon, and start galloping down the halls with a plastic zebra in my hands, again.
well im out, tired asa muddafudda....
later, butnot much
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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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| Time: | Sunday
February 13th 2005 @ 3:17am |
| Mood: |  chipper. |
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okay so....whats been up lately? long time no update...just been chillin...went to newyork over mardi gras and had a blast...dont really feel like explaining the trip...just use your imagination. ummm well tonight i went to the beach and hung out with anne and her mexican and geoff and mike and joy! couple of ppl stopped by too...it was fun lol we were just goofing off it was all good fun. and then joys over...asleep. lol yeah! and i have valentines! lol katelyn linh and chantal love you guys... well thats basically what went down and i have nothing more to say so i'll update later! okay
peace out homes
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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| Time: | Sunday
January 30th 2005 @ 9:10pm |
| Mood: |  annoyed. |
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i quit...temporarly, becuase recently, things have been fucking up for me, and recalling it all and typing it all here makes me feel like shit. i dont usually act like this. but maybe ive been living my whole life as a fake ass hypocritcal lying bitch. i just wish that i could tell people how i feel instead of acting okay about everything. but i cant. because everyone expects me to be the light of their lives. and one thing i hate more tahn anything is anykind of sympathy/empathy/etc. i really dont know what to think right now. so im gonna take a break, that might mean a week or two, or less...i really dont know. i dont know anything. maybe its bad karma....i need more church. thats the only place i feel wanted or useful. but then i always fuck up the minute i leave. i fuck everything up. its so sickening. im taking a break from xanga to, so..yeah. well i guess this is goodbye...
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| Time: | Sunday
January 30th 2005 @ 12:38pm |
| Mood: |  relaxed. | | Music: | Dont Stop Believing -- Journey. |
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okay. i think i got about 4 hours of sleep last night, but its okay. becuase i have all day to sleep. but i feel alot better, maybe a goodnight sleep was all i needed. and a 2-3 hour talk about all kinds of shit with people i really care about. you know whats so crazy...xanga is down, and like, i almost dont even care. ALMOST. i tried to go to my xanga and it said it would be down till 1 pm EST and that made me upset, becuase thats like....3? here. so then i came home from church, and they moved it to two. and i dont think i was all that mad. its because i have this thing right here to rely on. wow this is so gay. this conversation that im like, having with myself. lol. well i mean, xanga is kind of like one of my best friends, so it hurts when you cant use\see\typein it when you really need it. but recently ive been neglecting it to update my livejournal. weird
but whats even weirder is that im talking about how much i care about live journal and xanga. thats some weird shit
man i dont wnat my mom to comehome. my ass is grass. for no damn reason. i guess its okay though....ill live, and if i dont i expect to see all of you guys at my funeral.
i saw mike at church today. kinda cool, i think, i really dont know why, but i do.
well the news was at my church today becuase they were talking about the new "Choose Life" tags that are against abortion, these tags are really cute to =) lol and then like, they were talking about how the supreme court wants to ban them becuase its so called..."discrimintory" wtf. Your allowed to tell everyone your prochoice, and all that shit, but you cant tell people that your against? sounds like some hypocricy to me.
i cant wait to go to churhc todnight. its gonna be so much fun in choir. i dunno why...but i have this urge to sing...i know, i know, im super wierd. but i mean, my chuch choir practice is the only place where i feel like i sing pretty =) lol i mean, ir eally dont think i do at all...espically in school choir. but for some reason my voice sounds so...different, so much better, in church. and i love hearing it...its one thing that makes me feel good about myself, knowing i can produce such a sound. too bad i cant do that all the time.
okay well i guess im going to go, because ive run out of unneccisary things to tell you guys...but knowing me i'll think of some kind or random thing to post about and there will be another post today, becuase i have to post double...xanga is down, rmemeber...
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gosh, tonight was so freakin crazy...i swear....okay well on friday, me and angie wanted to go to the mall soo freaking bad, and i mean, i didnt think we were gonna have any way to get there, so then angies mom comes to the door and picks her up for her lessons, and then i get on the phone trying to work stuff out with anne, and then joy, and like, anne was supposed to come over, and i wanted joy and katelyn to but lord knows her mom wouldnt let her, and i dont blame her for not wanting to ask, hell i didnt wanna ask my mom cause i was sure shed through a fit about that, and like, so....so crazy shit happens, and we and anne end up staying the night with joy, which i had NO idea was ever gonna happen, it was so crazy, so then we go to the mall and then saturday i helped joy and chantal and tiffany make kites, it was fun...so then me and anne and joy and angie end up deciding to go bowling, and i wan a game! yes! skills! and like, it was so great, and then there came the disputing and it just pissed me off and then my mom called and started yelling at me like some kind of psycho bitch telling me that it was 1 00 and i needed to get home, and then like, i was like NO its NOT ITS 12 00 and i mean, so then im getting in trouble for talking back, so then annes brother comes and saves the day so geoff takes me and angie back to my house, and im supposed to call her right when i get home so i like, litterally run to the house, and like, i grab the phone and start dialing and she doesnt answer....
what kind of shit is that
so i mean, this weekend was good all in all but all i can do is think negatively...why is that? it kind of scares me sometimes, i mean, i fucking cried at joys house becasue i was watching 50 first dates and it was sad and i was eating ravioli and i reeeeaallly wanted to eat this small litttle peice and i couldnt pick it up with my fork. wtf. i mean, i started crying.
what kind of shit is that
im never negative, im always happy, and smiling and shit but whatever....and i mean, this guy kevin who i met today, told me he didnt like me (not like, like like, just not like period), and yeah, he was a fat korean bitch so why should i take that to heart, but i did...and i mean, anne told me that a long time ago kevins mom used to work for my mom and he called her a psycho bitch, and that kind of offended me, but i see where hes coming from. but hearing that from other people hurts, no matter how true it is
what kind of shit is that?
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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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hey, whats going on, well nothing much has happened here...tired as crap...and i feel like ive been neglecting this thing, but its okay i'll keep up wiht it, at least, i'l try...omg joy i LOVE the layout...abosultly love it. okay well my mom has been out of town, and ive been at home with angie, its been fun, been eating alot and watching alot of movies, its great! well i really dont know what else to say...because everything else that has happend, happened a long time ago so i dont remember any of it but i will keep this thing updated. i promise
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xo__staytonight's journal
uncomfortable.
shocked.